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Would it be fair to say that many couples only evaluate their marriage during challenging times? We use the word challenge instead of problem. Problems are something we have to solve and a challenge is something we must overcome. Just a different mindset. This particular thought process seems to give most couples hope. We all can use a bit more hope.
We as married couples may actually be leery to having an indepth look into what is going on in our relationship.
By taking an inventory of the emotional and mental budget as well as the financial budget. Do one of you feel as though your "spreadsheet" once completed, is coming up in the negative. We must as couples be in a constant monitoring mode to be sure we are "funding" the issues our spouse may perceive us as lacking in. To put it plainly, we must have a level of communication that will allow both of us to give an accurate accounting about how we feel about the marriage.
Now, for this to happen there must be an environment for loving truth. We must be ready for anything our spouse is going to say in love. This is why honest, loving and tempered communication is a goal in every Christian marital relationship. Once we learn to evaluate our marriages on a consistent basis we will be moving into growing together not only staying together.
One way you can begin this process is to ask a simple question. "Are we OK?". This is a question that may not get such a simple answer. This question will only begin the dialogue. It is up to you as a couple to agree that each of you will be "empathetic listeners". The concept says that we will seek to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. Resist the temptation to allow your mind to move ahead of the discussion to find the response to what is being said. Remain in the moment. Focus on what is being said. Be ready to give a Godly response.
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