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 What expectations do you have for your marriage? This is a question that seems to ambush couples after their wedding vows have been taken and they are attempting to be married. The questions appears to bring about a feeling that there is something missing from the marriage. During the "In Love Experience", the spouse to be, possessed and catered to your every need; or so you thought. After a couple of days, weeks, months and maybe 2 years you begin to think differently because the "In Love Experience" as ended and the "Whats In It For Me Love Experience" has begun. You ask the question, why did I marry this person in the first place? They have changed!!! They are not meeting my needs the way they did when we were dating and first go married. This is where you begin to reevaluate your expectations of marriage and your spouse.
This attitude can be very unfair to our spouse.
Question:
- Have you tested your expectations for selfishness?
- Are you asking things of your spouse that you yourself could not live up to or provide?
- Do you have a set of boundaries that you subject your expectations to?
- Have you discussed your expectations with your spouse so that the both of you can come to a mutual perception and agreement concerning what the other wants and expects?
A couple has to agree upon a set of boundaries that they will submit to. It provides the framework for the emotional expectations that each person has for the other. Without a set of boundaries your expectations can end up all over the map. You can not be sure you are playing on the same field of love if the rules are not the same for all involved.
Before you subject your spouse to the total weight of your expectations make sure you have a set of boundaries that allows you to measure those expectation against.; 1 Cor 13:4-7 is a great place to start and end. Then sit down with your spouse and discuss boundaried subjected expectations with them. Come to a mutual perception and understanding with your spouse so that the two of you can move into a new reality.
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